Being a single girl, dating is an integral part of my life, and while I don’t want to fulfill any stereotypes (although they are stereotypes for a reason), I often find myself sharing a bottle of wine with my girlfriends analyzing the complex world of dating. This has led to me to encounter a slew of dating advice.
One day as I was listening to my girlfriend give me her expert advice, it hit me. I was getting the same advice over and over again despite whom I was dating, or what the situation was. The guy was irrelevant. What mattered was whom I was speaking to. I realized it didn’t matter whom I was getting the advice from, but rather what their current dating situation was.
After mentioning this to a co-worker one day I realized she too had the same type of girlfriend’s offering her similar advice. In fact, the more I looked into it, the more I realized these were standard staples in many female’s lives. Like a women’s wardrobe they were the classic pieces that every girl seemed to have hanging in her closet.
I took the liberty to highlight a few of the more common ones. Recognize any among your group of friends?
The Chronically Single Friend
She has been single for as long as you’ve known her, yet she’s always the first to tell you exactly what she would do. Unfortunately, her experiences may have led her to become a little cynical (bitter is too harsh a word). Her advice, bless her heart, usually consists of ending things immediately and going out for drinks with her.
How To Handle Her Advice: Smile and nod, never argue, and then run as fast as you can away from that advice. You don’t want to become a permanent member of her Single Girls club (It takes too long to memorize the lyrics and dance to Beyonce’s Single Ladies).
The Hopeless Romantic
She loves a good romantic comedy and believes that they’re all based on real life (Youtube didn’t help her illusions when people started to post their own romantic videos, confirming that those types of guys do exists). Her advice is always positive, even when you think he’s cheating… and she’ll always have an anecdote or quote to share with you about love (after all, all you need is love and it takes two to make a thing go right).
How To Handle Her Advice: Treat it like alcohol. Have enough to make you feel happy and optimistic, but know when enough is enough. Too much and you’ll you’re probably end up with a hangover and a lot of regret. We all need positivity in our lives, especially when dating, but don’t let her advice steer you off the course of reality.
The Married, Engaged or Long-Term Relationship Friend
Ah, the friend that has always been in a relationship. You think you might remember a time when she was single… but you can’t be sure. She’ll always be up to listening to your stories and offering advice, but the problem is the last time she was dating there was no Tinder, match.com or even a full keyboard on your phone for texting. She’s so far removed from dating today that getting advice from her is the equivalent of getting advice from a 1950’s movie.
How To Handle Her Advice: Just like a 1950’s movie. Appreciate it for what it is and try to find the relevance as it can apply to your life now. They call it a classic for a reason. You may be surprised to find the similarities between then and now. You might also find it completely ridiculous and irrelevant. It depends on the movie- and the advice.
Do I really need to break this one down?
The “I’m in a new relationship” Friend
She was your wingman, your go to, and the one that usually gave you the best advice. Except now, she’s dating someone and despite her good intentions, she’s smitten. When you try to ask her for advice, she somehow manages to change the subject to her guy. And even when you finally get her to stop talking about him long enough for her to hear about your situation, she can’t help comparing back to her situation and giving you advice based on how she met her guy.
How to Handle her Advice: Just listen and wait it out. Eventually the giddy stage will end and she’ll be there for you again (hopefully). Until then be happy for her. Ultimately this is what you’ve both been searching for.