It doesn’t take very long to point out all the hipsters crawling around the city. You can identify a hipster girl from her trendy outfit, her general I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude, and her cool and perhaps questionable hairstyle. She might be sipping tea from a mason jar and adjusting her thick-rimmed black glasses, prescription optional, while juggling her Walkman. If this sounds like the girl you are trying to snag, congratulations; you have chosen to tackle one of the biggest enigmas of the dating world: hipster girls. Before attempting to date one of these girls, here are some useful tips.
Invite her out for a craft beer
Every stereotype has an assigned drink. Jocks drink protein shakes, businessmen drink scotch/whiskey, middle-aged women drink red wine, and hipsters, they drink craft beer. This ain’t your typical Budweiser or Shocktop stuff. Hipster girls want a hoppy Beaver River IPA from Beau’s All Natural Brewery and want to discuss how great it is that the brewery uses organic ingredients and local spring water. Is it better if the beer is in it’s custom brewery glass? Always. You could take it one step further and bring her to a Toronto brewery and try some of their beers there. Here is a list of craft breweries in Toronto.
Like her stuff on Instagram
A hipster girl loves her Instagram account; it’s her reminder to you to acknowledge how cool she is. I can assure you that every time she buys a hip outfit from Black Market or Urban Outfitters she WANTS you to notice it. Instagram is the social media for hipsters, so start getting into it.
Sport a manbun
If this is a heterosexual relationship and you have the ability to grow a manbun, it is vital to do so. The hipster ladies are all about them bundaddies and will ogle at you every time you fix your manbun. Maybe look at how Brock O’Hurn does it.
Learn to fix bikes
Toronto may not be the most bike-friendly city but that doesn’t stop the true hipsters (weather permitting or not) from cycling around in style. With our meager road conditions and abundant bike theft, it is vital to know how to fix a bike or, at least, where to get new parts. Imagine you just come out of a date from Bellwoods Brewery, and you are loaded on their Paper Tiger lager and you see her bike, lying on the street, dilapidated. There is nothing that grinds a hipster’s gears more than a broken bike. Now imagine you picking it up and making a few adjustments so she doesn’t have to TTC home. You would be her knight in shining armor, just replace the horse with a bike. BicycleTutor has some great video tutorials to help you get a kick start on being a bike whisperer.
Take her out to eat
Hipsters have varying diets. Some solely eat bacon, some are strict vegans and some are flexitarians. Whatever the case may be, ethnic food is always safe for hipsters. All you have to do is walk around Kensington and decide whether you feel like creole food, vegan Chinese food or maybe Mexican food. If cool ethnic restaurants aren’t convenient for you, take her to a place with a secret menu and order off there (ex. Salad King). Then there is a question of money and time. You can kill two birds with one stone and go to Get Well because now they have a North of Brooklyn (aka No Bro) pizza stand located in the back of the bar. A place with vintage arcade games, craft beers and a built in Toronto-based pizza restaurant? Is this hipster heaven?
Establish music taste early on
I cannot stress how vital it is for hipster couples to agree on music. This one is a biggie. There are many arguments couples should agree on in the hipster music scene. Is Meg White a good drummer? Do you hate on Lana Del Rey? Did The Black Keys sell out? And who is the bigger queen: T-swift or Queen Bey? You might as well get these arguments out of the way first. As you go deeper into the relationship, only then can you criticize her vinyl collection. Good luck.
Play an instrument
Now that you have debated and discussed everything from Morrissey to Kanye, it’s time to show off your mad instrument skills. Most girls will swarm guys who can play even a hint of “Für Elise” on the piano or “Wonderwall” on the guitar, but hipster girls aren’t as easily impressed. The weirder the instrument, the better. If you can play an Arcade Fire solo on the Kazoo or whip out your Fluba at a party, you are golden.